All I remember is that on Tuesday, you stayed with me. You could have gone home. In fact, you didn’t have to do anything for me after we talked. But you walked with me over to see him. And then you stayed waiting.
You spent at least 2 hours with me. Do you have loved ones at home waiting for you? I imagine you do. But I won’t ask because I know it is inappropriate. In fact, I don’t know if I want to know. Knowing you have a family somewhere out there makes me feel even more insignificant. I don’t know why I feel this way. I just do. And knowing that you have a family makes you more human. Right now, you are not just a human, you are a super-human. Everyone is vulnerable, but not you. You are super-woman. At least that’s how I see it.
I know it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. We’ve talked about this. I should know.
I’d say that you know me damn well. Can you read minds?
I remember you asking me on Tuesday if my being afraid of someone following me was reasonable. I didn’t know what to say. My reality is so different from yours. Would you understand if I explained it? It sounds mad even to me. Do you really want to know? I guess I owe it to you to explain. Because you don’t just listen to what I have to say, but you pick up the cues. You know what I mean – and you put it back to me so that I recognize myself.
I hope you can help me. It sounds pathetic, but I really hope you do. I don’t know how you do it, but you give me little pieces of me which I have lost through the years. You find these little “missing” pieces and you give them back to me, and that makes me feel really good.
Thank you so much. I’ll have the strength as long as I know you are there.