I wanted to simply disappear. I wish I could have. Maybe I even wish I did.
But I played out my responsibilities this weekend. I was a good-honest-to-god-girl this weekend. Which only leaves me feeling vague, empty and listless.
It’s hard to know why I bother. It’s hard to know why I’m still here. There was a time when I had dreams. Perhaps they’ve faded away with time, perhaps they were buried by the shards of broken aspirations. Maybe I’m just older now, more jaded because I’ve seen too many things I should never have, tried too many remedies that never worked for me.
Being alone in this world, trapped and lost within this vast shapeless landscape,… that wears a person down. It takes little bits and pieces of you soul, sucks you slowly dry of the enthusiasm, hope and courage you might have once had.
Was I that young once? Was I so blinded by empty promises?