Monday, March 21, 2005

Emotion regulation - the "answers"

The original list are myths according to the DBT model. The aim of the exercise is to challenge these myths which Borderlines mostly think are true. I agree with most of the statements on the list. But I have to complete the exercise as my homework for this week. So here goes….

1) There is a right way to feel in every situation.
People are different, so we all react differently in every situation. There is no right or wrong way. (Sid gave me the idea for this one)

2) Letting others know that I am feeling bad is weakness.
If I don’t tell others that I am feeling bad, they will think I am ok when I am not. (This is a bit of a cheat too – V gave me this as an example when I asked her for examples last week)

3) Negative feelings are bad and destructive.
When I am feeling negative, I DO NOT have to ACT destructively. (I’m quite proud of coming up with this one)

4) Being emotional means being out of control.
(need help for this one)

5) Emotions can just happen for no reason.
Emotions like fear can be a signal that something is wrong and can trigger a flight or fight instinct that could save us. (Example – standing in the middle of a busy road and feeling fear so we can get ourselves to safety)

6) Some emotions are really stupid.
Emotions are expressions of how we are feeling. They are not necessarily right or wrong, or stupid.

7) All painful emotions are a result of bad attitude.
(need help for this one)

8) If others don’t approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn’t feel the way I do.
It doesn’t matter whether people approve of my feelings. Whatever I am feeling is valid, and feelings are just feelings – they do not define who I am.

9) Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.
People cannot judge how I am feeling because they often do not know what is really going on.

10) Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.
Painful emotions are a part of life. Paying attention to them can promote growth.

5 comments:

xxan said...

Dear dear Polar Bear, I am so touched by what you said in my post (comment). You are as beautiful a person as you say others are.

love,

Xxan

Yuki said...

Hey, good job, Polar Bear on your "homework"!
#4) Being emotional and expressing feelings is natural and healthy. We can express our emotions without being out of control. We can cry when we're sad, vent in blogging when we're angry, laugh when we're happy and that's perfectly legitimate and appropriate.

#7) We can have painful emotions based upon someone else's wrong doing, unmet expectations, the hurt that others have caused to us, and many other reasons outside of a bad attitude. Painful emotions show that we are human and have feelings.

Hope this helps out! Talk to you soon!

Franikins said...

Nice job on your homework! I would put a smiley face sticker on it if I could.

I was going to try to answer the ones you said you needed help with but...

alas, I am at a loss for answers. It's a good exercise for me too.

Can I copy off of your paper? ;)

The Mass Defective said...

You did good on your assignment, give yourself a pat on the back! I fully understand the point of the homework, and when I had to do it myself, I didn't have that hard a time coming up with challenges to each of the myths. What I could never figure out is how do you get yourself to believe the new statements? If you happen to ask your T that, I'd be curious to know how she responds.

Polar Bear said...

Xxan - take good care of yourself.

Yuki - Thanks I appreciate the help. I need all the help I can get!

Franikins - go for it. And if you do come up with better ones, let me know so I can steal it off you ;)

Sid - great question. I wondered that myself but never thought of asking my T. I will do that when I see her tomorrow and keep you posted