Thursday, March 17, 2005

Emotion regulation

It’s hard to focus when all I want to do is to lie down in the smooth darkness of my room. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

So much to say and yet not saying it. We worked on emotion regulation today at therapy. V was trying to make me see that emotions are there for a reason and usually it is adaptive to the environment. And that we need to have emotions. She thinks that I hide my emotions well. But understands why I do it.

There are all these myths below which I need to challenge. I told her it’ll be hard, but I’ll try.

1) There is a right way to feel in every situation
2) Letting others know that I am feeling bad is weakness
3) Negative feelings are bad and destructive
4) Being emotional means being out of control
5) Emotions can just happen for no reason
6) Some emotions are really stupid
7) All painful emotions are a result of bad attitude
8) If others don’t approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn’t feel the way I do
9) Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling
10) Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored


The Mass Defective said...

Ah, I remember those myths from DBT. What we were told to do was rephrase them first, such as for the first one you could say every situation is different therefore the feelings attached to them will be different. Then use the new phrases like affirmation statements when we start to feel our emotions going off the chart.

Not sure if that would help you challenge them, but thought I'd tell you about it. Take care!

Anonymous said...

Me too: 1, 2*, 3, 4*, 5, 6*, 10.

I have other destructive myths:
-All people will hurt you if you let your guard down (paranoia)
-Everyone is judging me all the time (self-judgemental)
-Most people never get punished appropriately when they hurt others (unfairness)
-Something bad will happen soon, and I haven't prepared enough for it (paranoia, imagined horrors)

-and many, many more

Be strong ... perservere ... good karma to you.

Yuki said...

What you are learning about sounds really awesome. I relate to #2. It's funny how even our society can perpetuate these myths. All the best on your continued therapy. Keep up the good work!:)

james said...

Damn emotions. People always tell me that they are so shocked when they find out I have a severe mental illness. And I tell them it's because i'm such a great actor. I hardly EVER let on that I'm flipping out inside *sigh*
Anyway, I understand your struggle.

xxan said...

Polar Bear, maybe this doesn't help you, but when I read your blogs, also other ones, I'm always struck by the fact that you can formulate your feelings, your idea's in such a soft-fluent way. Your emotions, indeed, vibrate through your word. You write so poetically.

I'm not a good actor. I can't hide my illness. All my friends and even acquaintences know about it. Makes it easier. When I feel bad, they cannont but accept it. I have to deal with (so difficult), so they just have to deal with it too.

Franikins said...

I peaked and then kept reading...

I see I am not the only one who has a subscription to "These Old Myths Magazine."

I am glad to see that you are challenging them.

I now know that dust falls all over EVERYTHING not just wood furniture. I challenged that old way of thinking but still only dust the wooden furniture.

Am I in denial? ;-)