Monday, May 30, 2005

Tired, and it's only Monday

It's been a long day. I got up in the darkness of dawn to go to the gym. I had to do some staff training off site, so that involved driving out of town again. There's nothing to it, but everytime I make that trip, I come back feeling drained. As if I've gone two days without sleep. Maybe even three.

There is a meeting with my manager tomorrow about potential projects. It could make my day, or it will break me. I don't know which way it will go. I'm anxious.

I'm supposed to journal for V this week, and I just haven't gotten around to it. My mood has been neutral somewhat. I'm not sure if I am trying to avoid feeling, or that I am simply not feeling anything at all. There is so much at stake, I feel as though I am holding my breath in anticipation. Just waiting.

Waiting for what? I don't really know either.

4 comments:

Yuki said...

I'm glad you're making progress in therapy! That's really good. I've been praying for you and even praying for good opportunities & advancement for work! I hope it's positive!

James said...

Good luck with your meeting my dear friend. I am sending you good vibes. Thanks for you comment on my sanitarium blog. It is nice to talk to someone about mentall illness in person. Though the other days was the first time I've ever talked about it with someone else in person. Even still we were both a little cautious as we both suffer from paranoia! Ha!! Anyway, know that I am always here for you. Take care of your wonderful self.

James

borderline savvy said...

You'll get through your manager's meeting. It will definitely give you something to journal about. I hope the outcome goes your way. You know, you are journaling online, and you talk about your feelings. Maybe you could pretend you were blogging on paper. Might make it easier. But uncovering emotions is hard work, no doubt about it. You'll learn to journal, and it will be good therapy that you come to rely on.

I'm glad you went to the gym and are taking care of yourself.

Big hugs,
Suzanne

The Mass Defective said...

I love reading the comments on your blog. People really do care about you, I hope you know that. Good luck with the meeting. I do hope it makes your day, you deserve some good news.

As for journaling for V, just do what I do and print out some of your blog posts. I copy & paste them into a word processor program and print them out from there. Sometimes I even copy the comments. I've been doing it so my therapist knows what thoughts are swirling in my head and it also gives us a starting place for each session.