Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The dark side

Takes a while. But you wake up eventually. Even though the world is dark and the clouds seem to gather overhead. You wake up, and you have to face a hostile world.

You know it’ll take a while to get adjusted, to convince yourself this is all worth doing. Amidst the voices that scream at you. You just want to hide, but everywhere you go, they keep on hounding you.

The little pills at night keep the spectres at bay, but by morning, they have torn down the clumsily built walls and have begun scratching your face with their claws.

You wake up, and the marks on your face remain, the torn flesh, a testimony of the curse that haunts you.

Sometimes I imagine running down the trails, the places I go to run, surrounded by trees and thick foliage, places no one bothers to go, and in that silence, to lie quietly among the bushes, to exhale my final breath. There is much beauty in this world, if we bothered to look around us. Enough beauty that it can kill the chaos we harbour within. But sometimes that calls for a sacrifice, a sacrifice of the soul.


The Mass Defective said...

I agree there is a lot of beauty in the world and most people never notice it. Maybe if we paid attention to it a bit more often it realy would help to calm the turmoil inside.

Take care of you!
Big hugs,

James said...

Yeah sometimes the beauty is so much that I don't know if my heart can stand it.

I wake up in the mornings and am either depressed or freaked out trying to figure out where the hell I am. The meds have worn off and I realize that I have to start/get through another day. Glad to hear that you see the beauty too now and then.

Anonymous said...

Polar Bear,

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in all the uglyness that sometimes we tend to forget the beautiful things.

Take care of yourself.
See ya,