I went to see V today.
It's easy to fool around
it's harder to keep the faith
Sometimes therapy is so damn hard. It feels as though I should know all the answers already. And yet peace is so elusive. As if it’s all slipping through my fingers, like sand.
There are moments when everything makes sense. Everything seems to click, and I finally make out recognisable shapes among the shadows. And yet other times, I can’t really see. I am blinded by the brightness of it all.
But I wanna settle down
no matter what it takes
Sometimes I wonder if I am truly committed to this whole process. Therapy is like holding up a giant mirror in front of yourself and seeing the ugliness reflect back at you. Some parts are so hideous you want to crawl away like the reptile that looks back at you.
(Words in italics are lyrics from “Drive” by Westlife)