I went to Mark’s for dinner on Friday. After dinner, we watched Finding Neverland. Overall it was a pleasant evening. I always feel relaxed when I’m at Mark’s. I’ll have to have them over for a pizza night next time. I think maintaining the relationship despite the fact that we don’t work together anymore is important. It’s one of the things that makes this place home for me.
Weekend was quiet. I think I needed the time to recover. Recover from what? I don’t know. Some sort of brief mind invasion.
I didn’t do anything worthwhile. Watched TV, did a bit of reading. I seem to have lost interest in reading, which I really regret. These days I go to the library and pick up the odd book and spend the next 3 weeks struggling to finish it before it’s due. You wouldn’t believe I was the same person who would read 2 or 3 books a week, every week for an entire year or more. There was a hunger there then, some sort of fire,… which just isn’t there anymore. It feels dead now. I’ve tried several times to revive it, but either I’m not picking the right books that stimulate my interest, or it’s me. Something about me now.
I didn’t go out running or swimming either this weekend. I felt tired, physically. Just so exhausted that I sat in my living room staring into space for extended periods of time. Didn’t feel much like reading, didn’t feel like doing any cleaning. Just wanted to be alone, just wanted to sit there, willing myself to disappear. But of course, I didn’t.
Strangely I felt calm, and at peace somehow.
Must be the meds kicking in...