Remember the time when as a child, you got that F on your report card, and you knew it was a matter of time before your parents found out and THEN you would REALLY be in trouble? Remember how you felt? Scared, upset, sad, all at once? Remember knowing in your little heart that it was going to come down HARD on you, and you would be so sad, because it made you feel so much like the failure you ALREADY knew you were?
Yet still, you simply waited…. and waited…. hoping maybe no one will find out. Maybe the report card got lost in the mail… Maybe you could forge your parents’ signature….
Denial is such an interesting concept. I could easily spend the rest of my life studying it.
But you could deny only as long as it took for your parents to open that piece of mail. And you suffered the consequences. The blow to the head? The trashing with that piece of cane? The silent treatment for the next few weeks? The ugly stare that told you you were nothing but a miserable piece of crap?
Yeah – you just waited. Until it came down on you. The blow to the head…. and that hurt so badly you couldn’t help the tears rolling down your face. But that wasn’t the worst part, was it? No, it wasn’t. You could have happily stood there in the rain of blows, until you bled freely.
What was the worst part? Do you remember? The worst part was knowing that you are a failure, and getting that confirmation in your parents’ eyes.