Some days you have to do what it takes, you have to dig deep inside for courage you’ve kept hidden and forgotten behind dusty shelves. You have to find that little bit of something to keep yourself from hurting yourself.
You hear that voice seeming to come over the loud speaker, magnified a thousand times in your head – why not? Why not give in to that overwhelming urge to bleed yourself dry? Take a handful of pills and go into that semi-death state for a couple of days. Why not? God knows I deserve a break.
I know the answer. I know why. I’ve heard it many times before, not in that magnified voice, but in a softer, gentler tone, very similar to V’s voice.
I don’t want to give in because in the grand scheme of things, I know this is a dysfunctional way of coping. I know there are better ways to cope. I know I have to put in the effort because these things, these “better” ways, are new to me. And I know that every time I put these new skills to work, it will become easier.
Some days, you have to do what it takes…. dig deep for that something….
Today is such a day.