One step after another. Decisions to be made. Nothing concrete and yet I must make choices.
Yesterday I went to another interview for yet another job. This is a permanent position. It went well. Too well, because I got a call in the afternoon, telling me I was their “preferred” candidate. They asked if I would accept the offer, before they went around calling my referees and starting the whole hire-process. I said yes, at this point. What was I supposed to say? I don’t believe in shutting doors because frankly, in my life, not a heck of a lot of doors open for me.
Soul searching all day, trying to reach people I can talk to about this, and yet no one is around. I feel so alone, so afraid about making that leap of faith.
It’s a permanent position, but it’s a job several levels below where I am right now. Besides taking a major pay cut, it’d be a job that could take a toll on me emotionally and mentally, for the simple reason that it involves answering problem calls all day. It’s not my strength, but something I can do if I have to. But will I?
The first offer still appeals to me. It’s exciting, stimulates my interest area, it will develop my skills further, it’s a next step up for me. It will give me more confidence, opportunity for growth. It involves some travel, exposure to experts in various areas. I will earn more than I ever have in my life.
But I’m not ambitious. Money is not such a big deal. It’s nice, but I would be happy with just enough to live by. I keep my life simple. No expensive gadgets and gizmos. No luxury items. Just necessities.
Still, this is such a hard decision.