Thursday, September 08, 2005

A no-brainer?

I thought I was having the week from hell. So many frustrations, so much agonizing. I was drifting, and I didn’t like where I was headed.

And then suddenly, I got this call yesterday regarding one of the many many job applications I have made. I was invited to an interview. It was short notice, but I attended the interview this afternoon, having had only a day to prepare myself for it and do a 10 minute presentation in front of the panel.

I went. I did. And I was just getting back from the interview when I got a call from them – I was the last person interviewed, and they offered me the job!

Believe it or not, I pretty much knew I had it in the bag as I was driving back. It’s a somewhat similar role to my current position, and there are many transferable skills. I was almost hoping I would not be offered this job. Why? Because I want to stay where I am and avoid all the changes and stress that will come from starting a new job. Because my current contract does go on till December, and who knows, maybe I can negotiate yet another extension on it. Because this new job is only a one year contract.

My brother told me it was a no-brainer. Take it, he said. You have no guarantee where you are right now. With the new offer, at least you buy yourself a year. Not to mention it *is* a better offer. More money, less hours. But I expect a lot of work – good hard work,… something I’ve been longing to do.

I sat down with my manager and told him I needed to know what the outlook was on the possibility of extending my contract (which expires in December) into the new year. He said it wasn’t likely. Budget constraints. I told him I had an offer someplace else, but I wanted to stay it I can. He said he’ll have to see.

Is it really a no-brainer? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m afraid. I’m afraid of letting something familiar go. I’m afraid of losing everything I know and getting myself into a bigger mess. I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid of the unknown, of new things. I’m just afraid.


Geisha_Girl said...

Congratulations, Polar!!!

A year's contract sounds good. Security of income etc for the next year but not tied to the job indefinitely.

As you have a good skills base for the job you've been offered, I'm sure you'll do fine.

Lucky you!! I've not been functional enough to handle mainstream work for ages.

Go Polar!!

:-)) Jane

borderline savvy said...

Congratulations as well, Polar!

Well done. I know that you are afraid, and I think I would be having a lot of anxiety too about changing jobs. But it's a better position, and who knows, maybe they'll extend your contract.

Remember that you are luckier than some of us in 1) getting a job at all, and 2) getting a job you will enjoy.

Try breathing exercises and the half-smile exercises from DBT. I think they will help calm you down.

Suzanne :D

disso_k said...

Congratulations on the job offer, Polar!

It is scary considering whether to take a new position or not. Follow your heart! Mind you, the extra money and security is inticing.

Best of luck!

The Mass Defective said...

Congratulations on the job offer! I know it's scary and stressful to begin a new job, but if the position is better in pay and hours, I say go for it. I was about ready to turn down a job several years ago because I was too afraid to take it. My hubby & friends coaxed me into taking it and I'm glad I did. My fears were quickly stifled and it turned out to be the best job I'd ever had.
Good luck & take care,

Anonymous said...

Yay you, PB! I can certainly understand your dilemma. Security vs. potential gain and growth. Well, trust your gut - something made you go to that interview, and whatever that is, is worth considering. You've always got your running and your friends, when you need something predictable that works. :) Congrats.

Yuki said...

Congratulations Polar Bear!! That's so fantastic!!! I'm so happy for you that they offered you the job! If they offered you the job, you definitely have the skills for it. I hate change too. I hate new things and unfamiliar situations, too. Trust that you do have the skills to both do the job well and to handle new situations. You can do it! We all believe in you Polar Bear!:) Congrats again!

sansanity said...

hehe! I might get a job and you might get a NEW job!

James said...

Wow!! What wonderful NEWS!!! I say go for the new position. It is understandable that you would feel afraid of this new situation. I would be too. I think that if you can do it then it will be a great challenge for you. We are all with you sweetie!! All the way!!!!!

butterflies said...

Its a no brainer!! Take the job,it sounds wonderful...congrats!
Dont be afraid..its all good.

Anonymous said...

I understand where your coming from. I hope you choose to take the job, and I hope it works out for you. Good luck.

Take care

Colleen said...

It's really hard to do (especially when you have BPD) but, think on the positive side of this!

I know that switching jobs is always a bit stressful, but less hours and more pay is a great thing!

You never know, you may like your new position BETTER than your last!

New situations and changes always scare me too - but I really think things will turn out great for you.

And as ms_jane commented: You are lucky to be functional enough to handle mainstream work. (unfortunately, I'm not there right now.) You should be proud of yourself!

Good for you! :)