Got back yesterday after a 3 day conference in capital city. It was nice to be away for a few days, away from the usual grind of work and routine. And yet it was hard. Hard to be back in the city I used to love and now find so hard to be in. Certain places still reverberates with memories, tainted with the shame I called upon myself. I even ran into an ex colleague as I was returning to the conference site after lunch on Wednesday. He looked straight at me even as my heart leaped into my throat. He said hi. I smiled and nodded. We both kept walking past each other. The entire encounter lasted maybe 3 seconds, but it was enough to jolt me. Enough to send all sorts of emotions rushing through me. I couldn’t ever live there again in my life.
On Monday I officially gave notice and today, I officially signed my new contract. If there were any lingering doubts, it’s all gone now. I’ve chosen the path, and this is the one I will take. I’m scared. Maybe even terrified. While I look forward to the closing of one chapter of my life and look forward to a new fresh page, I am afraid of what the new will bring, what it will mean to me.