Wednesday, December 28, 2005
I'm trying to do water colour paintings, but there is a certain thickness to my style that makes it not water colour. I've tried to do some actual water colour stuff, but they end up sucking. I also prefer more vivid colours rather than the watery type of painting.
So Christmas came and went. All the anticipation and build up, and it was just one lousy day. Over, in the blink of an eye. It's a good thing I don't celebrate it anymore. It's just another day. Still, it surprised me how quickly it went by.
In a week, I'll be back at work. While I will welcome the routine and structure back in my life, I'm also beginning to think that maybe I could get used to this not-working thing. I'm tired, and jaded, I think. I was so afraid to be alone, and now that I have spent several days on my own, I'm beginning to welcome the isolation and the disconnectedness from the world.
There's been no phone calls. Hardly any emails. I'm in my own world. It's terrifying. And seductive.
I could fall for it.