Monday, January 09, 2006


Back at work for almost a week now, and things are slowly falling back into routine. V returns this week, and somehow makes this week more tolerable. I will see her for the first time this year on Thursday. I have missed her terribly.

The year ahead is looking to be an eventful one, with a couple of business trips lined up for February – one to Australia and one down to the South Island. And I have already made plans to visit my folks in March. I don’t know how I feel about that one just yet. Excited, to some degree, to see my old hometown, a place I haven’t lived in in 15 years, and apprehensive about how things are going to go with my folks. It’s been almost 3 years since I last saw them… and I just know that every time I go back there, it’s like going back in time and living life as a child trapped by inevitable and unescapable boundaries.

Work – has been steady. Yet still, I question myself regularly on where do I go from here… I have to move on by the end of this year, and I don’t know if I should wait to complete my contract, or if I should jump ship as soon as I possibly can to something more permanent, something I’ve been striving the past 3 years for…. Some dreams are so elusive…. Yet what can you do but take it one step at a time…

It’ll be an interesting year. At least that much I’m sure of.


Geisha_Girl said...

The travel sounds exciting -- lucky you!

If you've a year's contract, it might be worthwhile to give it another 4-6 months doing what you're doing before putting the feelers out for where you want to be next, as that way it still gives you 6 months of looking and negotiating while seeing out the contract -- but I suppose that depends on how important it is to see the contract through to completion or near completion.

If it doesn't disadvantage you to jump ship, go for it.

From my recollection, going back to the home town is likely to bring up some mixed feelings for you aside from the family stuff.

It sounds to me like you're strong enough to handle things -- you seem to be doing well and in control.

Have a great year, Polar.

sansanity said...

it’s like going back in time and living life as a child trapped by inevitable and unescapable boundaries

oh goodness that is so how i feel with my mom. no matter how much progress i make, i regress 100% WITH HER.

The Mass Defective said...

Eventful years can be good and I hope yours is a good one. As for visiting your folks, the boundaries aren't unescapable. You are an adult now and you don't have to live by their rules any longer. Refuse to revert back to the child in their presence, but if you do, remember, it's only a temporary situation and you will escape.

BipolarPrincess said...

I feel like that with my parents and I live with them, echh