Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Invisible woman walking

They don’t know because they don’t see. They don’t see because they don’t want to know.

Group started again today. It was hard to go back. I didn’t want to go back. But somehow I did. Walking out of work for 2 hours, rushing back and skipping lunch. Why do I do it? Because skills group is something I need in my life. But have I learnt anything? Only that I remain on the fringes of every group I’ve ever been associated with. It reminds me over and over again how it has been like for me, all the way back to school. Nobody cares who you are just as long as you shut up and toe the line.

No, I’m being unfair. True enough that most of it is my own doing. The hiding, the flying below the radar. I’m so good at it because I had to do that at home to avoid humiliation. And I did it at school for the same reason. In fact, I’ve become so good at it that I’m almost invisible today.

6 comments:

Christer said...

Hello,

I am finnish guy trying to beat my pal to get more comments to my blog than him :)

Please come on and comment something. Just say "Hello and in what country you are". It's enought. Please!!!

My blog: http://ravinto.vuodatus.net/
http://ravinto.vuodatus.net/blog/120876?postcomment=yes#bottom

Have Nice Day!

Christer

ps. My blog is only in finnish at the moment, "kommentoi" means "leave a comment". See ya!

pps. If possible, please send this message to your frieds. I'm also taking time how fast and how far my original messages goes.

Spiritual Emergency said...

Here's a link you may enjoy Polar Bear: Invisible Lives

The Mass Defective said...

I've always felt on the fringes too, but not so much invisible. People see me and I see them, I just can't seem to relate to any of them.

Try to keep your focus on the information they're providing in the group, that's all that matters.

Take care,
Sid

sansanity said...

i always felt like the wizard in the wizard of oz. no one could see ME but they could all see and loved the smoke and flames i created to protect myself from being seen so i wouldn't be ridiculed.

i draw attention to myself so that I feel in control and can divert people's attentions from the real me...

James said...

You words are painful yet ring so true to me as well. I appreciate the way you are able to express your feelings with your words.

Maria said...

I know the feeling.