They don’t know because they don’t see. They don’t see because they don’t want to know.
Group started again today. It was hard to go back. I didn’t want to go back. But somehow I did. Walking out of work for 2 hours, rushing back and skipping lunch. Why do I do it? Because skills group is something I need in my life. But have I learnt anything? Only that I remain on the fringes of every group I’ve ever been associated with. It reminds me over and over again how it has been like for me, all the way back to school. Nobody cares who you are just as long as you shut up and toe the line.
No, I’m being unfair. True enough that most of it is my own doing. The hiding, the flying below the radar. I’m so good at it because I had to do that at home to avoid humiliation. And I did it at school for the same reason. In fact, I’ve become so good at it that I’m almost invisible today.