Already May, and time keeps rolling forward, even as I remain stuck behind, frozen within the time warp of my mind.
So many thoughts go through that vast desolate area of my brain, as if there’s a speedway somewhere in there. I keep hearing the noises of passing ghosts, screaming, screeching at me. I keep feeling the pull of a memory inertia, the weight of so much guilt and rage and pain.
I only wanted to be free. I only want some peace of mind. But do I know what I really want? What does the shape of a normal life look like?
Last week, she asked me what a life worth living would look like. I didn’t know. Can I imagine something I never had? Can a person love if they have never been loved?