Monday, July 31, 2006

Commitment

Yes. Guilty. I’ve been hiding away again.

Therapy is a big commitment. I don’t mean just showing up week after week. I mean actually putting in the hard yards by working, by exposing, by expressing, by revealing, by putting myself in a highly vulnerable state. It becomes easier when the trust is there. It becomes easier when she smiles at me and reassures me that I am on the right path... that I haven’t wandered away and become lost somehow. But I lose my compass sometimes and lose my sense of direction. I can’t tell if I’m going west or east, or north or south. That’s when she lights the lamp and shines it my way. That’s when I can salvage that little bit of hope within my heart and pick myself off the ground and carry on...

3 comments:

ECLIPSE said...

I know that guilty feeling ... I hide away from life, I think. Vulnerable all the time.

butterflies said...

So glad that your hanging in there with group and that theres a way for you to head into the light.
take care sweetie

cat said...

I try not to let myself only feel good about counselling when I get a positive response from counsellor, but it is difficult. I must remember to tell her I do that. I have started trusting her and telling her things like that. Magically, I don't have a crush on her either.

Glad you seem to be getting something positive out of the therapy.

x