In a pit, dark as the abyss. Session with V yesterday. What the hell was that? Stumbling off in mid session, gotta take a break. I will be back, I said. In the restroom, crying, washing my face, drank a cup of water, went back to reception, and she was sitting there, to let me in. She can be so thoughtful, it hurts.
Don't run away, she says. I know you want to. I'm standing by the door, one hand on the door knob, ready to run. She's talking, and I don't know what of. I'm holding back the tears, holding my breath, clutching the pain in my chest, trying not to cry. I don't care, I say. But you do.
Don't run away. Sit back down. I don't want you to die. Why not? I care. Why do you care? My heart is breaking because I don't think anyone's ever said it to me the way she does. It doesn't matter why, she says. I just do.
More tears. I can't contain it anymore.