Monday, August 07, 2006

Cereal for dinner again

Strip down Life into miniscule fragments. Chew slowly. Swallow. Drink water. Swallow again.

Sometimes you have to go back to basics and start all over again. Things I’ve learnt have somehow slipped through the cracks, disappearing into an eternal abyss. Black holes in my brain swallowing lessons learnt along the way. I’ve not forgotten, so much as unlearnt.

I don’t understand. Yet you see the fear and desperation in my eyes. I’m trying to save myself, yet I keep tripping and falling. I’m trying to communicate with my eyes, because my lips falter when trying to form sentences. I choke on the words – there are no words in my brain, only expressions of despair and fear.

I could walk away and not be missed. I can never under estimate the fragility of life.


sansanity said...

you could walk away, but you WOULD be missed.

butterflies said...

Sometimes we do have to go back to basics..after all,thats where we end up.
at the beginning we are reliant on our parents for life itself,at the end we rely on our family and friends and ourself.
take care dear polar.

The Mass Defective said...

It's been a couple of days, but I keep coming back and reading this post, unsure how to respond. I agree, you would be missed if you walked away.

Did something happen to trigger these thoughts? Is this something you need to discuss with V?

I try not to let people see my eyes for fear they'll see the demon within. You're a step ahead for trying to get people to notice yours.

Hang in there Polar.

Anonymous said...

Now and then I fantasise about just walking out the door with the intention of doing nothing but walking from here and never coming back. The escape fantasy. But it doesn't matter where you go, you take it all with you. Whatever it is, does lift though ... life kind of provides small escapes ... something to read, someone to talk to, maybe something on TV or whatever small reprieves there are in one's day.

Hopefully how you're feeling will lift soon.