Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Stupid cooties

You know in school, in every class, there is almost always a kid who is always two steps behind everyone else. He has to try twice as hard to get things right, and even then, he often gets it wrong. Nobody wants to hang out with him because well, kids being kids, they believe that they could catch the “stupid cooties” from this kid.

I feel like that kid almost everyday in my life. I feel stupid, defective, unwanted, unloved. I feel as though everyone “gets” it and I don’t. I feel as though there is a secret handshake, or a secret language which I simply do not comprehend. I’m out of snyc somehow. Out of step with the rest of the world.


Denise said...

I need your help, please. I am sure I have taken in a child with BPD. I have read some of your blog and the 1st I read was this last one you posted made me think that's how he feels. He is only 8 years old, how old do you think your BPD came about?

Polar Bear said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Polar Bear said...

Denise, I don't have your email, so I hope you do get to read this:

8 is way too young to be diagnosed. Children, particularly teenagers are highly volatile due to their hormones, and many of their behaviour may mimic BPD traits. Generally people are diagnosed in their early 20s, or slightly younger. I was diagnosed when I was around 19 after several years of BPD trait-type behaviour.

But that doesn't mean that he doesn't have behavioural problems. best to talk to a professional and have him see someone.

What I am writing here is not so literal as to say I am slow in understanding things. For me, and I believe for most people suffering from BPD, it is our emotions which are at an arrested stage in development. I am here aluding to my emotions and the way I form relationships with other people - which are often intense and stormy.

You can also do a google search on Borderline Personality Behaviour. There is a wealth of information out there.

sansanity said...

PB--you can share your cooties with me anyday. (as long as i also get the cootie that let's you be such a wonderful writer)!

and kids don't want to hang out with the kid that is 2 steps ahead either--might catch the nerdy cooties. (that was me--the nerdy one).

but funny, i seemed to have gotten the mediocre cooties from them in my attempt to fit in...

The Mass Defective said...

I think you "get" more than you give yourself credit for, but I do understand what you mean or else I wouldn't have named my blog what I did.

Hang in there. You're stronger and smarter than you realize. You don't have the stupid cooties.

Take care,

James said...

I don't know the secret handshakes either. I feel like I'm living in the movie, "The Truman Show." Let's start our own club.

carlo-5 said...

I think it's not about the cooties or anything like that, it's usually a matter of having very low self-esteem. The important thing is to give more importance to oneself. Don't worry, a lot of people feel that way, but they really are not losers. It's just that society has its own way of prejudicing people who are a bit slower or weaker than others.