Monday, October 16, 2006

The deepest blues are black

So I succumbed to the black hole, to that deepest abyss of hell. It amounted to a week off work and 3 days in the Looney Bin. I’m still searching my memory of that time, but through the haze of fear and madness, there isn’t much to see.

I know they served breakfast at 8.30am, lunch at 12.15noon and tea at 5.30pm, supper at 8pm. I was in the female wing where there was a separate lounge from the common lounge. I know I wandered accidentally into the male wing a couple of times. I know I wandered into the day room where I did some pencil sketches and gave one to V when she came to see me. It was a picture of a house and a tree in the foreground and another house in the background.

Other than that, I remember one of my nurses who was gentle and very kind to me.

6 comments:

butterflies said...

Oh sweetie..so thats where youve been.I remember a week I spent in the looney bin many years ago..dont remember details but it did save me from myself at that time.Im glad you are ok enough to blog and share with us.
Im very pleased you didnt kill yourself.
Take care..we all love you.

marie said...

I am so sorry you had to go to the hospital again. I am glad you are comfortable in sharing that with us. No matter what happens we are all here for you! Please take care hun.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you came through this time, although you probably still feel like crap. I hope you have people you can be around - if not to talk to, then at least to distract you. I've only posted a comment once before (I'm from the 'Windy City' near you), but I really wanted to let you know that I'm one of several readers who care what happens to you, and want only good things for you. Be good to yourself. We don't want to lose you.

Dobro said...

I'm so sorry that you felt like you were in hell and that you had to be in the hospital. But, from what you wrote, the looney bin experience was not hellish. Hope you feel better soon. we are all here for you. Hugs!

The Mass Defective said...

I'll be following in your footsteps shortly. Doubt they'll let me out of the hospital after only 3 days. Here in the states the medical industry likes to bilk the insurance industry for every possible penny and it seems you stay until your insurance is no longer willing to pay.

Hope you're doing better now. Thinking of you.
Hugs,
Sid

sansanity said...

i'm glad you were safe. the lyrical nature of your words is like a song or poem to me. i don't want to lose that!

and i wish i had the guts to say "it's where i need to be" becuase i recognize that it is. i'm not afraid of te hospital, i'm afriad that the shame form my mom and disdain from others will breach the walls and infect me still.