Monday, December 04, 2006

Fading away

It's been a weird week. It feels as though I have existed on another plane, some kind of parallel universe where things happen to me, rather than living in a world where I am actually present and able to make decisions on matters. Maybe I'm losing it a little. Maybe my brain decided to shut off, leaving everything on autopilot. Maybe I've stopped trying to live because I am just too tired.

I AM tired. So f...king tired.

But I don't want to dwell on negative things today. The weekend went well, at least. I was going to shut myself in all weekend, but somehow ended up with a ticket to a live performance of Les Miserables, so I went to watch it on Sunday. It was good. Really well done. And the story,... oh, the story.... they don't write stories like this anymore.

I'm still tired. I still feel like I want to hide away from the world. I'm just afraid that if I do, I will simply fade away. Wasn't there a song about this? About how it is better to burn out than to fade away?


The Mass Defective said...

I'm glad you got out this weekend to the show. Wish I had done the same.

Hang in there, you're in my thoughts.

Ophelia said...

I was fading away under my blanket yesterday. It was't any nice experience. You chose better.

marie said...

I am feeling like this too. I want to go to bed and stay there!

I too am SOOO tired. I never thought I would be so f***in' tired at 38.

My only saving grace was the Out of The Darkness walk I did this weekend.

Please don't give up hope.

Brony said...

It's funny how we are able to balance living with fading. I mean this alone is enough to make anyone tiered. The game of trying to be present and in the moment when we feel so far way.

I hear you though. I too have been very tiered lately. I actually slept most of Sunday away.

butterflies said...

The song was written and sung by neil Young..while he was with Crosby Stills..Its a lovely song.
Somehow I think its better to be tired than manic..easier to cope anyway.Maybe God is just giving you some rest to gather strength.
Love ya..