Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Year 2006 in review

One more day before a 12 day break from work for me. I guess this is as good a time as any to do a year-in-review.

It's been a significant year.

I've had a couple business trips to Brisbane and a trip to Melbourne. And a bunch of little overnighters around the South Island. The one year contract job I had earlier this year was just so much fun,... but stressful too, of course. I met and worked with so many different people. I gained so much experience in such a short period of time (8 months). My self confidence was strong and healthy for the first time in my life.

The really good thing that came from it too was that I recognised the fact that I was having fun, recognised the fact that I was so good at it (even though I'd tell myself I sucked), and despite the stress and sleepless nights before a major presentation, I took the opportunity to visit places I wouldn't usually have a chance to visit. Top of the list was Sea World in Queensland, and seeing Hudson and Nelson, the two polar bear cubs. That was definately the highlight of my year 2006. I also had the opportunity to go down to Dunedin and visit the Cadbury chocolate factory. That was a lot of fun too, once I got the work part out of the way.

Then there was the buying of the house, of course. It was scary and felt like such a huge thing for me to do. I didn't know anything about buying property and I was so damn lucky to have done all the right things.

June - present
I started this new job, of course. My first permanent role since I arrived in this city back in 2003. The job was the precursor to buying a house, of course. Before that I was still living the kind of life where I wasn't sure where I'd end up a year or two down the road. Of course, nobody really knows where they'd be a year or two down the road. But this time I think there might be a shred of stability in my life. I'm putting down roots here. I'm terrified, because I can get it wrong. I've gotten it wrong before, but I'm putting down roots all the same. I can't live that other transient life anymore. I've been searching since I left home at 17, and I think - I THINK, I may have found it. 16 years later.... It sure has been a long journey.

Graduated from DBT group. Mixed feelings about that. I did learn a lot, and am glad I went through it and didn't quit even when I wanted to early in the year.

Not such a good month. Landed in hospital twice within 2 weeks.

I think that's it. Overall, it's been a positive year. Probably one of the best years I've had in a while.

I haven't mentioned the struggle of course. The tears I shed in therapy. The tears I shed alone in the dark. The moments of irrational fear and paranoia that haunts me. But such is life. Such is the life of a borderline. I'll celebrate any little victory. Bring on the vodka. Cheers.

1 comment:

butterflies said...

What a lovely positive post Dear Polar! You have had an eventful year full of ups and downs but youve come through it more confident with a new house and a new kitchen(lucky thing)
Its been a joy for me to have you in my life,helping me through my hard times and always cheering for me and James.
Happy Xmas Hon..hope your holiday break is healthy and happy.
Have a long fast run for me..catch you on the flip side:)