Thursday, January 04, 2007

Back and breathing

I’m back. Not a lot of people are, but it’s peaceful here today, and I’m grateful for that. I spent a large part of my “holiday” in hospital. Everything seemed too big for me to contain. Being in there this time around didn’t feel so agonizing. I was there voluntarily, so I had the freedom to come and go. Many people wanted to make things right for me. I felt so bad letting everyone down.

They released me on a weekend pass, but I didn’t make it through the entire weekend. I found myself running bare foot at 3am to the hospital. Sometimes fear can drive you to forget simple things.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Polar Bear,

I am so sorry that you feel so bad. I understand how you feel about V being gone. I was forced to leave my therapist at CMH because i got private insurance and had to find someone else. I still haven't found the one that was anywhere near as good as Maureen, the one i had. It does feel as if someone died. I butt heads so much with the one i have now. It's just not the same. My heart aches for losing someone that i trusted in , confided in, and grew to care for.

I hope you know that even though i have never commented on your site, i read it all the time and really identify with you. Please take care of yourself and do what makes YOU feel best!