Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Insatiable sleep

Mornings are so goddamn hard. Fighting exhaustion, even if I have slept 10 hours or more. It's not enough. I could sleep forever if I could. Curse the goddamn alarm. Curse playing the role of diligent employee. Curse the world.

The first thing to do, the first battle of the day begins, and I'm trying to shake off the most recent vivid piece of my dream (why do the dreams so closely mimic issues of the day??), trying not to make any decisions or think about anything at all until both cups of coffee have perfused my veins and my entire system. Until then, I play this blank tape within my mind. It's all white noise...bzz bzz bzz bzzz.... If thoughts intrude, I go la...la...la....la... like a crazy person.

As if I can chase the beasts away. As if I have any power at all.

1 comment:

sansanity said...

you have this way of giving voice to a whisper in my head that is sometimes scary and comforting all at once.
there is comfort in knowing you are not the only one and then there is sadness as you realize that someone else feels that which you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.