Tuesday, January 09, 2007

She has a soft spot for you

I return, trying to find traces of you. My mind lingering on the edge of that dark precipice. Will you catch me if I fall?

I search for evidence of what once was, trying too hard to imagine the past we shared. Do I even have a right to venture into territories unknown?

I sit here, my tears in suspension. I cannot shed a tear and yet the sobs echo within me. Such gut-wrenching sobs from the depths of hell. It shocks me. The level of pain and agony. It is almost impossible for someone to live through this.

Last night I had an unexpected visitor. We talked around our issues. She showed me Job in the bible – when Job wished he had never been conceived, never been born. It’s not about dying….dying indicates disloyalty to God. It’s pain that should never have been conceived. A tiny fragment of cell being allowed to be nurtured and nourished. It should never have happened. I was never meant to be.


butterflies said...

Yes you were meant to be..
or is God wrong?

for what it's worth said...

You were meant to be and in fact, you have a divine purpose....