In the midst of deep despair, one cannot see much more beyond the thick fog that surrounds. This list will help remind me that no matter how bad I think things are, things could be a lot worse.
Just be glad I am not sitting in a jail cell somewhere, rotting away.
Just be glad I am not in hospital, rotting away.
Just be glad I have to go to work regularly and that keeps me out of trouble.
Just be glad I am not out on the streets and homeless.
Just be glad that despite my bum knee, I can still run.
Just be glad that even though V is away AGAIN next week, she is still there for me.
Just be glad that I was not born physically deformed or handicapped.
In our session yesterday, we talked about increasing positive events in my life. Therapy isn't meant to just teach me skills to tolerate distress. It's also meant to help me build a life worth living.
Apparently it is about accumulating positives. Little things are supposed to matter. Enjoying a book, playing the flute, going for a run, enjoying a nice meal. Does all that take away the pain? Does those little moments of respite make everything wonderful? No. It's not supposed to. It just takes away the constancy of the pain, takes away the focus on the pain so that we can achieve a reprieve.
Is that enough?
I think it has to be. Otherwise life would not be real.