Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Rabbits do not lay eggs

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why must we fight a losing battle against our minds?

Things are happening. Sometimes I get things done. Other times there are things that are insurmountable. I’m standing there, waiting for the mountain to eat me up.

I had a 5 day easter break. No pink furry rabbits, no chocolate eggs. Just me and all the silence. For days I would sit at home and be alone. Phone didn’t ring – thank god. No one knocking on the door – thank god again. There were a few invites, but I declined. No one really understands. I’m better off alone.


Suzanne said...

I don't believe you really feel that way... if you really honestly 100% felt you didn't deserve company and/or love & respect from other human beings you would not have a phone. There, defy the logic in that! ;-)

How about getting yourself a mutt? They help Eclipse and I enormously and a mutt would jump at the chance to climb a mountain with you on a long weekend or camp out in the bush. They're good for cuddles too and will always give you a kiss even if you have CHRONIC morning breath!

I know sometimes it's hard to leave the house when you're feeling low, when everything is such an effort. I feel like people will be staring at me, watching me and everyone else in the world will be having so much fun except me and they'll know I"m alone. But it's not true. Most of the feckers are miserable too but don't have the reflection skills we have so don't know how or why to fix it. You will meet people who warm your soul but I'm not going to pretend they're easy to find. A lot of people I think look at us but don't look deep enough to cut through the protective layers we place around ourselves.

Christ, you and Eclipse have got me going this morning. If we were all on the same side of the globe I'd scoop you both up and take you out and have fun (whether you liked it or not! ;-)).

butterflies said...

OH sweeite.
Here I am sitting at my computer crying my eyes out.Im so lonely and I hate being alone.Im very down and cant know what to do.
Here I am crying about being alone and youre happy about it...and guess what sister?? were both miserable!
Oh well least we got something we can share huh?
But all I can think day it will be ok.Maybe not today or next week,but one day.Nothing can feel this bad forever,
Love you

Sid said...

I like Suzanne's idea of getting yourself a pet, especially a dog. They offer unconditional love and make great company. They don't insult you or ignore you or treat you horrible. You can bare your heart and sole to them and no matter what you say, they'll love you anyway.