Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Freefall to heaven

The sun will set soon, and where does that leave me? It leaves me around the edges where the shapes are not so clear and the lines are less defined.

It leaves me with too space in my mind where monsters can lurk and settle in the crevices to hide.

The stash is all I have to comfort me, to protect me against the monsters that jump out at me from those crevices in which they hide. Is it too much to ask for a little peace of mind, a little respite from the pain that courses through my blood and sucks the life out of me?

What happens when the agony grows too much and sanity cracks, and I freefall through that dark abyss, along with the little unclaimed children that were born from the wreckage?


Suzanne said...

You see the problem with your stash is that I'll bet you 1000 dollars it's just downers. Whatever happened to ye olde drugges of the past that promised laughter, spinning lights, pretty colours & feelings of joy? The stuff the pdocs give us crazies just make us numb. If you want to collect drugs I'd suggest contacting your local street dealer - they probably have much more fun ones! ;-)

Sid said...

I know how comforting "the stash" can be. I still have mine, though I've been in a relatively safe place as of late so I don't regularly check it to see what's there.

It would be far too hypocritical of me to tell you to get rid of it, to give it to V. Maybe a better suggestion for both of us, and for anyone else reading that has one, would be to put a list of other coping skills in front of the stash or a list of safe people to call. That way we'd at least have to see that there are other options first before we could get to the pills.

Please try to keep yourself safe. You know I worry about you.