Monday, July 23, 2007

No more drama please

It's easier to be angry with V than to remain dependant and needy and clingy. I wish I didn't feel needy and clingy. But I do. A lot of the time.

I wish I could turn my emotions on and off, like a light switch. Wouldn't that be great? I would never be hurt again. I would never be sad again. I would never have to agonise over heartbreak and rage. So I wouldn't feel happiness, or love either. So what? When have I ever felt happiness and love to the degree that I suffer from the pain? I wish I didn't "feel" anything, as I so often claim I could. Do I have problems identifying emotions at times, or am I suppressing them? I do both, I think.

Behind that mask, behind the eyes, there's so much hidden, there are so many secrets unspoken.

Behind the great stone wall of ANGER are the festering wounds no one will ever see.


butterflies said...

Hi sweetie..just dropping by to say hi.Im finally back online again after 2 long weeks of travel.
Oh and I have to say this...
after being both tremendously sad and happy,Id much rather be happy and take the risks that go with it;)
Love ya

Marie said...

Release them any way you can. This is about your healing, if people have a problem with that it is theirs to deal with not yours!

I am experiencing some of this right now in my own life.