Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A noble death

Sometimes we have to face our demons and fight it. Sometimes we get ourselves killed, but still we die fighting, which is a noble death.

I don't know how I can face it without breaking down. The only thing flashing through my head is the thought of how good it would be if I didn't have to face it anymore. Death becomes my salvation, death becomes my comfort.

I'm not brave. If you think for a second that I am, then you couldn't be more wrong. I'm a coward and only cowards hang on when death is imminent.

I don't want to die. I really don't. But do I have to prove how much it hurts by dying a noble death?


Banjk said...

Hey there.
It's been a while...but I'm back. Sorry about leaving.

No, you don't have to prove a thing. I'll never argue with anyone about choosing the moment and means of their death. Although I, personally, would rather you continue to tell your story and see what the future's about.

I know I was surprised...

Suzanne said...

You don't need to die and you're not alone. V will guide you through the wilderness.

Judy B said...

If you are feeling very depressed you need to hang on and get the help you want and/or need. I know how hard it is (especially with BPD)to get help from ignorant mental health professionals. Keep banging on their door until they understand how much distress or pain you're in. Bravery has nothing to do with how scared you are. Bravery is writing on your blog. Bravery is hanging on in the face of death. If you feel so bad please go to the hospital emergency and don't let them turn you away. I know how humiliating and impossible it seems to tell some stranger how you feel but you are worth it. I hope you feel better soon and remember that anything that saves your very valuable life is worth doing. I hope you feel better soon and remember that although it may not feel like it you have God batting for your side.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

But do I have to prove how much it hurts by dying a noble death?

(nods head) I think that often myself.