Sorry. Life's been on mute for a while. The minutes trickle past... and in this vacuum it's as if even my breaths are muted. Vacuum packed for your enjoyment.
Last week we worked things out. I explained a lot. Words, really. I came clean. I put words to my emotions. That's progress, at least. I wasn't on mute then. And V understood. That felt good. It felt so good I want more of that. But it's not mine to take.
V also asked me last week to consider undergoing a review by some Borderline Personality "experts" from capital city. She'd suggested that a while ago, and I'd refused to. I am reluctant because of my history with them. But I think V thinks it would be really helpful in our work. So I said I'd give it some thought. I did, and today I said yes.
I'd meet with a psychologist and a psychiatrist. V said she'd be there for me if I wanted her to be. Yes, I want her to be.
Today we talked about treatment goals. We talked about how to build a life worth living. I asked, "How do you get a blind person to paint a picture?"