Wednesday, June 04, 2008


The days are closing in as we approach the shortest day of the year. The drive home at the end of a long day is grey and bleak. As much as I love the start of autumn and the explosions of colour that comes with it, the end of fall and the beginnings of winter is a more subtle transition, one that slowly creeps in like a stealthy thief in the dark of night.

It is cold, but not unwelcomed. The clawing tendrils of a certain chill - the kind of chill that seeps into the bone and makes itself at home. I drink more coffee, as if I don't already drink copious amounts of it. It keeps me warm, fortifies me against the onslaught of invisible fingers, grasping, reaching, threatening to pull me under, into its ice kingdom.

There is a certain beauty to this season. I love it almost as much as I love autumn and its colours. I love the way it reflects my soul - that barrenness, that coldness, that bleakness. The way it slips in so quietly, so silently. It needs no loud words but it speaks to me. The nakedness of the trees reveal its truth, its structure - skeletal, but intricate. A breathless kind of beauty. A secret agony, a hidden pain.

But beautiful. Beautiful in its own twisted way.


Rylah/Jacqui said...

That is so beautiful, Polar. You truly have an amazing way with words. I hope you're feeling a little better. xXx

Zathyn Priest said...

I've given you an award - pick it up from my Blog at the end of my latest post :)

Best Wishes,

oneawareness said...

Hello, Winter =
I've just read your recent postings. I'm just new to being diagnosed w/ BPD. I'm scared shitless and doing what I can to grasp at straws that are emotionally tangible. This work is very hard. Especially since I'm looking to confront it, and move forward - without having much training in this realm. I'm looking for solutions and also for dignity through this process. It's all so new, and i've been doing a tonne of research to battle the loss of control I feel.
good luck with your personal work. I'll check into see how you are doing.

butterflies said...

I love winter in NZ too..the crisp frosts that are followed by bright sunny days.
Sorry Ive been away for a while,Im in Oklahoma now and its 106 unbearable heat! when you walk outside it feels like someones blowing a hairdryer on hot.
(On my way back to NZ,just visiting friends and saying bye.)
Love you