Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Replay

I lay there in the dark of night with thoughts filtering through my head over and over again, like an old tape, playing the same old tunes, just one more time and one more time. Same old scenes, same old story, ending with nothing more than death and pain.

The tears have dried, but there is a tightening in my chest. It is agonizing, lying there in the dark, knowing that there is no longer any redemption left. Knowing there were lines, and I have crossed them.

Lying there in the dark - it is so much easier to die. But lying there, listening to my heart beat, listening to my breathing, I know the day will only bring more pain, more disappointment.

9 comments:

Raspberry said...

I think you and I are on the same plane Polar Bear xXx

susan said...

Hang in there. We are here

i know where you are coming from.

butterflies said...

Maybe something good will happen..
smile and it will come back to you

mandy lifeboats appeal said...

Soulmates of Another Kind

Soulmates of another kind
They say my thoughts
And read my mind
They know my fears
They share them too
They type my sentences before I do
Their smile's my reflection
Their voice my own
We have separate bodies
But one internal home

Always amazed each time I find one
Always thrilled to meet another
These soulmates of another kind
Are lifelong friends not fleeting lovers

I seem to know them "as if forever"
Time doesn't notice when we met
That bond of "something special's flowing"
Both face to face or across the "Net"

It doesn't matter whats their gender
Whats their age or who they know
My soulmates of another kind
Exist within me and never go


Julia Ann Ferguson ~ December 21, 1997

Anonymous Drifter said...

((((Polar Bear)))

Aqua said...

"Lines were crossed"...that is great explorers were brave enough to set out to find new worlds. Despite their beliefs that the world was flat and impending doom was ahead of them in the form of falling off the earth. Great people challenge "lines" and boundaries. You are a great person.
...aqua

do you think you have it? said...

I've been there. You don't think it will ever get better, but it does. I promise. Hang in there.

Out of angst, come great things...

Wandering Coyote said...

Hang in there, Polar Bear.

Tamara said...

Huge (((((((HUGS)))))) Polar Bear.

Hang in there. You are not alone and things will get better.