I lay there in the dark of night with thoughts filtering through my head over and over again, like an old tape, playing the same old tunes, just one more time and one more time. Same old scenes, same old story, ending with nothing more than death and pain.
The tears have dried, but there is a tightening in my chest. It is agonizing, lying there in the dark, knowing that there is no longer any redemption left. Knowing there were lines, and I have crossed them.
Lying there in the dark - it is so much easier to die. But lying there, listening to my heart beat, listening to my breathing, I know the day will only bring more pain, more disappointment.