It's been busy at work. As soon as I clear my inbox, it explodes with another million emails. Then, a couple of our main systems blew up within days of each other. But it's not all bad. It's been a good distraction for me.
As V promised, she gave me her photo when I saw her earlier this week. She also lent me 2 books - one is a DBT workbook (not the Linehan one), and a small mindfullness pocketbook.
I'm finding the photo helpful. Last night, I found myself carrying the photo from room to room as I moved around the house. In the photo, which is a headshot from the neck up, she smiles at me. She has the kindest eyes and smile. I can almost hear her in my mind when I look at the photo. She has becomed more real to me, and it is soothing to have that photo.
I'm also touched, when I think of her making that effort to get her photo taken and developed so she could give it to me. She did that - FOR ME! The "FOR ME!!!" part still amazes me. That someone would do that FOR ME!!! And I think more so when I realise that I exist in her mind outside of therapy.
I started working on the workbook last night. I'm going to go through it slowly so that I can digest the information and then apply it in my daily life. The book is written for both therapists as well as people who suffer from Borderline Personality or who have difficulty with emotion regulation. It's not overly clinical and is very readable by the average person.
One of the main points I picked up on last night was this:
"You cannot stop painful things from happening in your life, but you can stop the suffering".
That's going to be my mantra for a while.