Friday, February 13, 2009

Swamp


I've been meaning to update sooner than this, but I keep procrastinating. I've been trying to keep up with things, and I keep getting side tracked. Work, my mental issues, sessions with V, processing that occurs in between sessions, my running... Those sorts of everyday things.

I'm afraid I'm slowly falling back into MYSELF. I find myself spinning tales of positivity and yet inside I'm being slowly consumed by negativity. And no matter how hard I'm trying to ignore it and pretend it's not hapenning, I know it's there and like an oil leak it will eventually poison the water.

I've already resorted to taking my PRN imovane two nights this week (and since I'm confessing this - twice last week too). And it worked like a charm. It's pretty much lights out 15mins after I take it. That's what I want. Bam - lights out. Nothing, until the blasted alarm clock gets me up the next morning.

5 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

Oh, I love imovane. It's my favourite drug.

Lola Snow said...

I'm sorry to hear that things are hard PB. I know it doesn't help much but remember that your good mood will come back, just hang on in there, and keep talking to V. {{{Hugs}}}


Lola x

Pigtails said...

I've been having to take my prn, too here lately. I just hope it's the weather.

Aqua said...

Hi Polar Bear,
Maybe falling back into yourself, accepting yourself, loving who you are at any given moment is a way to heal. You are a loveable and beautiful person. Please know that.
hugs,
...aqua

Tempy said...

Thank you for your kind words, I was feeling pretty exposed and unstable but it was nice to read your words. Hang in there.