We live in two different worlds. I don't believe the chasm between us can ever be bridged. But it doesn't matter now. My folks are old. They are fragile now. They may have mellowed out, but they are the same inside. It hurts, every time I think about it, without really knowing why, perhaps not wanting to know why.
I've let go of the past, but I haven't truly healed. I'll be 36 next week and it would have taken me 19 years to undo all the thoughts and beliefs and twisted patterns of thinking ingrained into me for 17 years. We're all older, and we're all wiser. We all try to change for the better. But we still bleed, we still hurt. We still revert to what we know best.
I can be the bigger person. I can do all the work. But in the end, it's all just for me.