Thursday, May 07, 2009

Stuck

What would a life worth living look like?

I don't know. How do you get a blind man to describe colours?

I seem to keep getting stuck on this. I want to be wild and explain with vivid words and majestic tones. I want to paint by splashing colours on the white canvas - the impossible. Abstraction which secretly forms beautiful undescribable scenes of frolicking angels. I could be so out there she would laugh at me. But when has she ever laughed at me?

I could be sombre, and tell her in that stilted, faraway voice, that somewhere in there is an abyss so deep even I cannot fathom. Except I've seen it, I've stared into it, even as my soul slowly seeps down there... inside. Would I ever find myself again? There is a part of me that doesn't want to. There is a part of me that's saying what's lost is lost.

I'm so scared. I could tell her.

3 comments:

Anonymous Drifter said...

I don't know what to say other than I've been in that place many times and it's beyond painful *hugs*

Wandering Coyote said...

Sometimes you've lived somewhere so long, you don't know anything else and you couldn't describe anything else if you wanted to. I've been there, PB. I could rattle off all kinds of fantasy scenarios in response to that question, but I don't because I fear they'll be judged stupid.

Just Be Real said...

Great great question! Hard to answer dear one!