Therapy went well today, although in the past few months I can see that we are slowly shifting in a different way. V has been trying to get me to take the reins a bit more and I've been uncomfortable with that. But there's something about the way she "sells" it to me which makes me want to do whatever it is to please her.
A few months ago I also thought she was trying to disengage herself a bit more, not just from taking a more directive role, but also from some sort of emotional disconnect. It appears I was wrong. She still validates me, and over the past few sessions I think I've managed to confirm to myself that we are still on the same team. And so maybe the real work can begin.
I'm supposed to come up with at least 3 situations over the course of the next week which trigger negative emotions. It could be anything, and we're supposed to talk about it. Sometimes though it's hard for me to justify coming up with anything because in the back of my mind I'm telling myself it's not a big deal. It's always hard raising something in therapy. I'm always thinking - is that what I need to talk about? I keep so much inside, locked in some kind of private vault. It's always been easy to let V do the driving, to let her pick up on how I'm feeling each time I see her (and she can be really good at that too).
I kinda like the idea of being able to talk about anything I want. It's not something I'm familiar with, or comfortable doing. But it's a new idea. I need to feel it out, I guess.
On other news, I think I injured my foot running again. Well, a different foot this time. That's why I have two, I guess - so I can mess both of them up. I'm really annoyed and hope it won't set me back on my running.