Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Moody

My mood has plummeted downwards significantly. I can't explain the shift. I don't really have words for it. I'm in a weird mood.

I joked with colleagues just now - about suicide ideation. I was telling them about this presentation I'm not looking forward to having to do on Thursday. I told them a piano might drop on my head, or I might get hit by a bus. I said to another colleague - hey, do you know anyone with swine flu? I need to borrow their handkerchief. I might have gone too far, but I really was trying to be funny. Finally they told me to stop, that I shouldn't be joking about such things.

Of course, it's sick. I really shouldn't be joking about things like that. Life is precious, life is fragile. All that crap.

I just want to go home and go to bed. I think someone wounded my heart today.

7 comments:

Anonymous Drifter said...

I hate those downward shifts in mood. All through my life I've been plagued by them and they happen for no apparent reason. I hope you're soon on the upswing.

journey2balance said...

I hate to see them too... not only does my spouse experience them sharply at this time of year, but you know what... I do too. It is a rough season! Yesterday my spouse said she just wished she could hibernate until spring.

Harriet said...

I'm sorry you're feeling down. Maybe you really do need to take a day off and stay in bed. I've never done that, but it sounds nice.

KT said...

Sorry Bear... I get what you mean about trying to be funny with the suicide jokes; I think if you've been there or thought that you get the humor in it, because it's either laugh at the logic your brain makes of it or cry until your poor brain melts out of your nose. o_0

butterflies said...

I dont think there is anything wrong with joking about suicide..
when we talk about it were far less likely to do it :)

Rach said...

I was actually going to suggest taking your day off on the day you go to therapy... Would give you something to do = a reason to get out of the house

sansanity said...

sorry but i thought the swine flu handkerchief line was FUNNY!