My mood has plummeted downwards significantly. I can't explain the shift. I don't really have words for it. I'm in a weird mood.
I joked with colleagues just now - about suicide ideation. I was telling them about this presentation I'm not looking forward to having to do on Thursday. I told them a piano might drop on my head, or I might get hit by a bus. I said to another colleague - hey, do you know anyone with swine flu? I need to borrow their handkerchief. I might have gone too far, but I really was trying to be funny. Finally they told me to stop, that I shouldn't be joking about such things.
Of course, it's sick. I really shouldn't be joking about things like that. Life is precious, life is fragile. All that crap.
I just want to go home and go to bed. I think someone wounded my heart today.