Friday, September 11, 2009

Stop this ride

Another week over. A big sigh of relief. Is this what life is all about? I told V on Tuesday that this is what it feels like. You get through the next hour, then the next day, the next week, then you repeat everything over and you do it all again. I want more than that. I want to want to live. I want to live. Not just get through. I don't want to be tired the way I am, ready to leave this ride and go home. I don't want to be that little kid crying, begging to go home because she is just so over it all.

7 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

I hear you, totally. I often feel like this, especially in the thick of depression. The slog of doing all that pushing becomes almost counterproductive, and often leads me to despair.

Eliza Jane said...

I really, really relate to this post. (Even when I feel "well" I usually feel like this...). I don't know what to say, because I always feel like this, and I'm not sure how to fix it either... but I hope that something happens that will make this easier for you.

butterflies said...

Hi Polar..
Im thinking of you and hoping that you have a good weekend.
We had such beautiful weather during the week and now its going to rain all weekend!!

Always know...someone somewhere is thinking about you and cares :) xoxo

Anonymous Drifter said...

I'm trying to get well yet I still experience this all the time. I feel like I'm dragging myself through an existence instead of truly living. When I start to analyze this I quickly push it out of my mind because it's just too painful to deal with.

Aqua said...

Hi PB,
If I could help the little child inside you I would. I may not know exactly how you feel, but this post speaks volumes to me. I wish the same things.
big (((hugs))),
...aqua

Harriet said...

I hear you. I think I blogged about this recently - how life is a bunch of mundane s**t punctuated by small moments of happiness, fun, success, etc. Meh.

sansanity said...

Yes!