Monday, September 14, 2009

Weekend ride

I had a decent weekend, even though by the time I left work on Friday I had a headache and was feeling achy in my body. I thought I was probably coming down with something, but managed to fight it off on Saturday by taking things easy and drinking lots of water.

By Sunday, I felt well enough for a ride, and went on a 45km ride around the back roads just outside of the city with K. There were a few hills which almost killed me, but other than that, it went well.

I've done my homework for therapy tomorrow, but feel unsure now about sharing them with V. The activity diary is OK, but I also had to write up a plan for what to do when I become unwell and that includes signs of becoming unwell. There are a few things in there that I consider deeply personal. But I do trust V, and probably have shared with her all my "signs" at one point or another, but seeing it in bullet points in black and white feels uncomfortable somehow, as if acknowledging my illness, or validating it. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know.


Aqua said...

Hi PB,
Would prefacing your sharing of these uncomfortable points with, "Some of my points are deeply personal, and I feel uncomfortable sharing them with you or anyone"...allow you to discuss your discomfort sharing, and better decide if sharing is something you actually want to do? Maybe some things are deepy personal, and maybe you will be able to set boundaries for what is yours completely and what is to be shared?

...just a thought, because sometimes I want so badly to keep some thoughts to myself, but end up sharing anyways, because I have a hard time discerning what my boundaries are.

On the other hand, sometimes I am afraid to share deeply personal thoughts and agonize over sharing them (for fear of embarrassment, or rejection etc.)...and then when I am brave and share them I find it difficult to remember why I was so afraid to share.

life is complex hey?

Just Be Real said...

Good that you had a decent weekend, and hope the aches and pains of your body are better.

I have become much better in sharing my personal thoughts (I guess since I decided to become 'real'), still at times I do get embarrassed. Blessings dear one. ♥

Anonymous Drifter said...

I admire you for the level of physical activity you're able to accomplish. It's amazing.

I've been in the mental health system since I was 14 and I've never encountered a situation where I had any therapist to talk to about my problems and receive homework to do. It kind of pisses me off. You're so fortunate to have your therapist.

Borderline Lil said...

I'm the same, Polar, sometimes I hesitate to read back my homework to Dr A because it really is the deep, dark part of me that he knows but I still sometimes try to deny. Like you said, seeing these things in black and white is confronting... I suppose that's why V and Dr A get us to do this darn homework lol! Great effort on the ride, you are a kick arse chick for sure!