Monday, November 16, 2009

On being a loner

"When nearly all you do is done alone, it makes the effort that is conversation that much harder, and all the more fruitless"
- Anneli Rufus (Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto)

I'm currently reading Anneli Rufus' book entitled The Loner's Manifesto. It probably contradicts what I've recently been trying to do, which is to become more social and reach out. But as the book confirms, that does not necessarily mean that I avoid all social contacts.

Previously, before I decided to do more social stuff, I've always considered myself a loner. Infact, perhaps I still do, and maybe that's why I'm reading this book. I figure maybe I'll know for sure whether it fits me or not.

But as it is, I still don't know. It's possible that I am one. I haven't really decided if all this social stuff makes me any happier. I don't know if it makes my life suddenly worth living. I do know, to a certain extent, that I am doing all this social stuff because V wants me to. And it could be a way for me to prove to her that it doesn't work. Unless it does. In which case it would prove me wrong.

The book is certainly interesting.

I'll share more thoughts on this if I encounter anything else.


Aqua said...

Dr X and talk a lot about the importance of relationships and being social. He also recognizes that for me anyways being social sometimes comes with a cost...I often wear myself out in social situations and then pay the price in exhaustion and fatigue afterwards. Even though I am really social, and I don't think anyone who met would say I'm a loner...I wonder sometimes. I really like being by myself and feel less stress/anxiety when I am alone. Sometimes I wonder if all along I have been a loner trying to force herself to be social so others will like me??? Go figure.

I think it is great you are making such an effort to try out the social side of life. I suspect you, like me, have a bit of both the loner and the social person in you.

Harriet said...

I'm not exactly a loner, but I am an introvert. I need periods of time by myself, short ones throughout the day, and long ones throughout the week, or I become overwhelmed. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

Goth80s said...

...loners should make friends with another loners..
loner's club
youre welcomed anytime in there.. <3