Close my eyes. Drifting. Feel the velvety smoothness of oblivion. Reaching out... touching nothing. My heart beats still. I feel regrets. I feel faraway pain, but pain nonetheless.
My heart trips sometimes. I keep wondering why.
I see you for the first time in 3 weeks and the wound is ripped open and bleeding once more. Realise my protection system is not as strong as what I imagine it would be. Inside that rock hard steel is just jelly. I quiver with uncertainty, with pain. I cannot explain to you something you have never known, something you will never know.
I close my eyes and go to that faraway place.
I just want to go home.