Thursday, April 08, 2010

Turmoil

There have been developments, obviously, because so much time have passed since I last updated here.

I was back in hospital again, after missing an appointment with V and failing to show up at work. I had people upset and angry with me, and I still don't have a clear reason of why.

The turmoil inside caused me so much endless pain. My mind was more conflicted than it has ever been before. What do you do when your body naturally does everything it has to do to preserve itself, but the mind is screaming for release, screaming for total oblivion, total darkness. What do you do when the heart hurts yet it keeps on beating?

5 comments:

Stephany said...

I don't have any answers, but the fact that you are here is important. I'm sorry you have so much pain and turmoil, HUGS

Harriet said...

PB - I'm sorry about your hospital stay. Were they able to help you at all? Can anyone make you feel better? I'm so sorry for your pain.

Me said...

So glad you are still around, but sorry the pain hasn't gone. Some days it never really goes, you just learn to cope with it. You'll get through this, with the support of friends
::hugs::

Sid said...

I so wish I had the answers to those questions...for both of us. Please take care of you Polar.

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Polar. Sorry to hear that you've been ill. I've not been so great myself. Just hanging in there. Sometimes that's all you can do. All issues burn themselves out in the end.

Keep truckin.

Bearfriend xx